Why we all need a Person B in our lives!

“You should definitely apply for that role. I know that you will be great at the job because you are already doing some elements of it. So, you owe it to yourself to put yourself forward. If you need help, I am available to support you with crafting your application”

This was a snippet of a conversation I overheard. Here, ‘Person A’ was unsure about her suitability for a role that had opened up where she worked and ‘Person B’ was encouraging her to apply for the job.

Listening to the conversation, it was familiar. I have seen this happen over and over at different times with different people, in most cases, women. I have also been ‘Person A’ at various points in my life. But I have been lucky and thankful to have always had a ‘Person B’ who believed in me, challenged me, and encouraged me to put myself forward.

Not everyone has a Person B.

Our mind is an interesting space

I believe that one of the blockers to people (especially women) making the progress they would like in their careers and beyond is what goes on in the mind.

You know, the thoughts linked to the ‘negative what if’ scenarios; what if I am not good enough, what if I get rejected, what if I fail! … I could go on and on but you get the gist. This does not imply that there are no counter ‘positive what if’ thoughts. But sometimes it is easy to lean towards listening to negative thoughts that cast self-doubt and diminish our self-belief.

This is where other people can play a key role. Where we can lean on our ‘Person B’ or become a ‘Person B’ to someone.

What is a Person B?

Person B is that person that sees the potential in you. The person that sees you are holding yourself back or realises that you don’t see the greatness in you that they see. Person B wants you to succeed and excel. This person will affirm, challenge, encourage, and support you on your journey.

Person B could be anyone; a friend, family member, or a colleague. You could be a Person B to someone.

Becoming a Person B

I have crafted a simple framework I’ll like to call the P.E.S.A that Person B’s can use as a guide to support other people.

• Pay attention
• Encourage
• Support
• Accountability

Pay attention: In most cases, we may need to step back and tune into our environment to sense and observe what is happening around us. In doing this, you will be able to identify people that are not putting themselves forward for opportunities they are perfect for. As well as people who may seem to be operating in stealth mode and are not getting the attention they deserve. Engage with them to understand what is going on with them. Listen to them, observe them, ask questions and determine if they need support.

Encourage: Depending on what you find; it may well be that they need words of encouragement. Affirmation that they are good enough or worthy of what they are contemplating but not brave enough to explore. Where possible, provide evidence to support why you believe in them. Show them why you believe they should put themselves forward. Help them envision what you see in them.

Support: Sometimes, people need more than words for them to challenge themselves. They may need other forms of support. These could be in the form of guidance, resources, or someone to serve as a sounding board as they try to navigate through things. You can help by providing this support if you have the bandwidth or offering to introduce them to people who can provide such support.

Accountability: Let’s assume that you have done all the above. They have committed to putting themselves forward, well done for being their Person B! It doesn’t end here. Hold them accountable to what they have committed to. Follow up with them to ensure they follow through. It is easy for people to procrastinate, and as we know, procrastination is the undoing of good intentions.

So there we go, these are practical and somewhat easy steps we can take towards supporting and empowering the people around us.

There are a lot of women (and men) who need a Person B.

Here is my challenge to you; if you do not have a Person B or are not one already, become someone’s Person B today and find your Person B.

Together, we can support and lift each other up.